 |
| "Wait - would you rather live in the ascendancy of a civilization or during its decline?" |
Los Angeles - In the summer of 2005, I was having an identity crisis. A five-year relationship crashed and burned. It was expected, but you can never truly prepare yourself for something to come to an end. Pride won't allow it. I became mildly obsessed with social networking because it was safe. I could pretend everything was fine without actually having to look someone in the face in person. If I did that, they would know I was lying.
Bored with my current identity, I decided that I would be someone else. Anyone else. Tim Busfield. Yep. The guy from "thirtysomething" and "Revenge of the Nerds." Random? Yes. But it was a decision that changed my life.
So, I pimped out my MySpace profile to make it look like I was really Timothy Busfield. Every visit to my page was met with elevator guitar riffs and the gentle sound of jazz flute. I like to think the "thirtysomething" theme actually made Yuppies' nipples hard in the late 80s.
You know, it was a pretty big deal to be in someone's MySpace Top 5. It meant that you were better than someone's other dumb friends. While I was tickled by my new identity, I never expected to make the Top 5 of someone famous.
 |
| I keep forgettin' we're not in love anymore. |
Well, famous is a pretty relative term. Technically, the guy who farted and passed out in the stairway in "Coming to America" is famous. But this was big time. This was a Doobie Brother. That's right. Somehow I made the REAL Michael McDonald's MySpace Top 5 as TV's Timothy Busfield. Little did I know that somewhere 1500 miles away, a beautiful young woman was working a summer job at a golf course, visiting Michael McDonald's MySpace page. Is this tale random enough for you yet? Okay, good. It gets better...
So aforementioned beautiful, young woman noticed Timothy Busfield in Michael McDonald's Top 5. She laughed because her dad actually grew up in Michigan with the Busfields. In fact, her dad used to beat up little Timmy Busfield and her grandmother was the Busfields' Spanish teacher. Friend request sent.
A few days later, I noticed a friend request from a stranger. This person's profile was pretty amazing. We had identical tastes in EVERYTHING, movies, music, philosophy, sense of humor. What the hell. Let's go with it. Request accepted. I sent my new friend a message to let her know that I wasn't really Tim Busfield, but I loved that we shared all the same interests. No response. Oh well, moving on...
It was almost a year before I heard back from the stranger. In that time, I'd moved back to Oklahoma, spent a lot of time at the bottom of a bottle of whiskey, dated a girl that I'm pretty sure hated me, and listened to a LOT of music that exacerbated my condition. Every single song was about me and my sad, epic journey through life. Never mind that they're all written by multi-millionaires so far removed from hardship that a hangnail warrants a trip to Cedars-Sinai.
In the midst of one of my "at least Colin Hay gets me" moments, I noticed that I had a MySpace message. The stranger had a name. A beautiful name. Josephine. We messaged back and forth a few times and then decided to IM. I would think about our conversations all day. I couldn't wait to hop online and see her there. Then, she called me. We talked and talked and talked. Her personality was larger than life. She seemed so wonderful, genuine and honest. I had to meet her. So I did.
I'll never forget the way I felt taxiing into Detroit that first time. What the HELL are you DOING?! You're meeting up with someone you met on MySpace? Not only that, I was 26 at the time and she was 19. But I knew she was light years ahead of 19. I was 19 once and I was no where near as mature as she was. I later found out that my future sister and mother-in-law were worried, too. They ran a background check on me to make sure I wasn't some psychopath who loved to lure young girls and throw cats from 10-story buildings by their tails.
I remember staring at the luggage carousel, hoping and praying that I didn't make some impulsive decision and that she actually liked me in person. I turned around and there she was in her cute white sweater, the cuffs of her jeans covered in dry snow. One word: beautiful. Everything about her. It literally radiated from her skin.
 |
| Newlywed Beer Bong! |
Over the past few years, we've endured about all there is to endure in such a short amount of time. But, we've loved each other through every minute of it. Whenever I look back at all the things that had to happen for us to be together now, it all seems fated. It's easy to lose hope in the face of adversity. Now adversity gives me hope.
To my darling wife Josephine, happy anniversary! Cheers to two wonderful years of marriage and many more to come...
I love you.
